I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
