508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
