and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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