dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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