We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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