I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The beer is more important than you right now.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
