I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
