I like to think it a success when the cops are called
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
