So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
