i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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