it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
