New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's official drugs can't kill me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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