Kiss
Puke
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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