Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
