when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
