i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So squirting runs in the family.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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