You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
