fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
