All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
