his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
