I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
