awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
