i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Whod you bang
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
