I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
