Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
