The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
