I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
