god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
