3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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