does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
