I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
