Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
