im drinking this country out of the recession.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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