apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize
