you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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