I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i think my tv is drunk
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
