I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't deserve a penis
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
