Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
