He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
