its not stalking. its research.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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