your room smells of hookers.
And success
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
