On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dicks are not precious.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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