I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
His nipple licking is glorious
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize