i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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