last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
