I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
