Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
