This girl is more easily done than said...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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