i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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