Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
