Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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