i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
