i barfeds in our rink
4 words: hood of his car
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize