my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
