so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
