Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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