people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
